


Not Yet

by MysticallyGallavich



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Don't leave me, Insecurities, Kisses, Love., M/M, Making Out, Massage, Sweet!Mickey, beautiful boys, love me, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 22:07:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8226256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticallyGallavich/pseuds/MysticallyGallavich
Summary: Prompt: Mickey's been acting closed off and cagey for some reason (Proposal, Terry's out of jail, your choice) but Ian thinks Mickey wants to break up so he has meltdown and cries and begs Mickey not to leave him and Mick has to comfort Ian and assure him that he loves him.





	

Prompt: Mickey's been acting closed off and cagey for some reason (Proposal, Terry's out of jail, your choice) but Ian thinks Mickey wants to break up so he has meltdown and cries and begs Mickey not to leave him and Mick has to comfort Ian and assure him that he loves him.

 

Ian takes in a deep breath. That’s how he got through his day now as pathetic as it was. Mickey was his whole life, and that was stupid, he knew that. He had other things. Like family, and some friends, and work, and all that bullshit but Mickey was fucking everything. And Lately, it had gotten distant between them. Mickey took extra shifts to stay away from home, he left early before Ian got up and got home late at night long after Ian was too tired to move. When they were together, it was like a million worlds were between them, and Ian knew. He had always known that someday mickey would see past whatever he did see in him and realize he was worthless, that Mickey deserved better than Ian. And He knew it was coming, so every day he tried to breathe through his day, hoping for just one moment, one more day that Mickey was his. And just one moment to show him that Mickey somewhere in there, loved him just a little bit.

He tried to recall when it started. When the clouds rolled in and made them…less or whatever. Was it the insignificant fights? Was it when Terry had resurfaced? When Monica had shown up again and again? When Ian crashed months before and Mickey had to take care of him once again? When Ian was stupid enough to not clear his internet history and Mickey caught him looking at rings like he’d ever think Mickey would say yes. While he wasn’t certain what had pushed them so far away from each other, it was apparent that something had, and he no longer knew how to fix it. Fix them.  
\--

 

Mickey groaned as he washed his hands before leaving work. His body hurt, only one thing could fix that shit, and that thing was at home, probably passed out by now, it was so fucking late. This whole working his ass off to make extra cash shit was exhausting. And he wanted nothing more than his boyfriend to be up and waiting for him when he got home but he knew he wouldn’t be, it was so fucking late, it was closing in on midnight but he had to get this shit done or he couldn’t take the time off he had asked for, and he sure as hell wouldn’t beable to afford the time off without it.

“Milkovich, tomorrow…got em lined up for you.” He hears his boss call from the office. Did the asshole ever sleep?

“Yeah okay. One more day asshole. Then I’m taking my time off. So get my money ready.” He calls back walking out the door.

\--

Mickey sighs when he gets home, automatically going for the shower, he was in so much pain being under those fucking cars all day, and if he couldn’t have Ian’s hands all over him, then hot water would have to fucking do. When he opens the bathroom door the water is already running. His interest peaks for a second, wondering if he could peak in on his boyfriend before he noticed but that suddenly dies when he hears it. Almost louder than the running water, sobs call out to him, and he no longer gives a damn about anything else but he snatches that curtain open to find Ian, crouched down on the floor of the tub, water pouring over him and he’s sobbing his whole face red.

“Ian?” He asks and puts a hand in the water, it’s cold as hell. How long has he been in there? “Baby…” he says knowing if anything will pull him back to him it will be that. Mickey is doing a mental checklist trying to figure out if something is wrong, or if this is him crashing or something. But nothing fits there, nothing has seemed that off, but then again Mickey hadn’t been around much had he? Fucking work, if he missed the signs. “Come on Baby, let me get you to bed okay?” He says and Ian finally looks up at him, his eyes are distant, and red and puffy.

“Please don’t,” Ian says softly crying.

“Don’t What? Just getting you out of this cold water, and to our bed okay?” He says, his sore back long forgotten until he goes to pick up Ian and winces, fuck that hurt. But he continues.

He gets him into their bed after drying him off and pulls the blankets up around Ian’s body, completely. “Ok, how long were you in there?” He asks.

“Dunno went to take a shower before bed.” He says and that freaks mickey out because Ian goes to bed way earlier than this.

Mickey gets up to go get some water for Ian and some food for himself but Ian’s arm clutches at him. “Please don’t leave me. I’m sorry.” He cries out and Mickey looks at him, his broken boyfriend so weak and miserable.

“Leave you? I’m going to get something to eat baby, I haven’t eaten since this morning, and you some water. Are you hungry? Need anything else?”

“You mean meds?” Ian asks. He’s so weak that normally the bite that would be there at the suggestion that Ian wasn’t medicated is not present.

“If you need them sure, but not what I asked,” Mickey says, even if the thought had crossed his mind he knew Ian. This was not Ian unmedicated, this, in fact, was a version of Ian he was sure he had never seen in his entire life. So fucking broken, and it wasn’t his illness breaking him, it was something else and Mickey needed to know, needed to understand exactly what was going on with his boyfriend.

\--

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Mickey asks looking at Ian, they had now been laying there for a while and Ian was starting to cry again, he was sniffing it back but he couldn’t keep it all in.

“I’m fine,” Ian says.

“No you’re not. What the fuck is this?” Mickey asks.

“Don’t want to do this…not yet. So close to breaking.” He says shaking his head. “Can you just hold me tonight? Pretend you still love me? Then you can…you…god.” Ian starts crying again and then something snaps inside of him. ‘Pretend?’

“Wait…What? What do you mean pretend? I do fucking love you.” He says and Ian just turns over and cries harder. “Ian…I swear to god if you don’t turn over and look at me right now. What are you talking about?” He asks frantic. “Seriously are you off the meds? You ain’t showing the signs but saying shit like that, fucking crazy talk, look at me damn it.” When he doesn’t Mickey gets up, a little too swiftly because he feels the twinge in his back. “God damn it, that fucking hurts.” He says and Ian moved then suddenly and looks at his boyfriend who is now holding his back.

“What…what’s wrong?” Ian asks and Mickey rolls his eyes.

“Seriously? I have to hurt myself before you’ll look at me asshole. Tell me what the fuck you are going on about now. So I can lay down and pretend that my back isn’t killing me okay?” he says and Ian shakes his head. “Tell me why you think I'm lying to you.” He says.

“I don’t” Ian answers.

“You just said I was pretending to love you. That would mean every time I tell you I love you, that I'm an asshole liar. Which is bullshit. So tell me what the fuck you think that for.”

“You don’t want to be around me anymore, I don’t know why, or what I did, I just…I keep holding my breath waiting for you to break up with me…waiting, because I know it’s coming. I just, I’m not ready. I’ve been trying to get ready, but I can’t.” he says crying again, and mickey moves and grabs Ian’s face.

“Don’t love you…like that’s even possible. Want to know what I do every day. I wake up at 4 am, every fucking day, and stare at you, trying to take in every little detail that I can about you. Because I know that I wont see you all day, so I do that. Then I go to work and get a long list of fucking cars to work on, because I asked for more work, because I needed more money, and so I do that every day. Why? Because I want to be better for you, do better for you. SO I do it, and then when I finally get done, I look at the clock, hoping its before you go to sleep, because I want to hold you, because my back fucking hurts and nobody can touch it like you do, because I want to make love to you, because I fucking love you. So I get home and you’re sleeping usually because it’s usually past midnight, so I take a shower and climb into bed with you and whisper that I love you and fall asleep. And I do it all over again.” He says and Ian just looks at him curiously.

“You aren’t avoiding me?” Ian asks like a broken child.

“Avoiding you? What the fuck would I do that for?” Mickey moves and there goes his back again and Ian sighs.

“We can’t talk while you’re like that come here.” He says and Mickey smiles at that because even though Ian is insecure and probably still thinks Mickey is leaving him, he sits back on the bed and pulls Mickey in front of him and starts working his muscles on his back. He groans out when Mickey does. “Would you stop that,” Ian says.

“What? It feels so good, fucking harder man. Please?” he says and Ian does, he works his back the best he can, which goes on for a while before mickey leans against him.

“Can’t rub you when you lean back like that.”

“I know. Wrap your arms around me.” He says and Ian does. “Now, I'm going to say this overly lovey sappy thing okay, and you’re gonna stay silent for just a minute okay?” he says and he feels Ian nod against his back. “I love you, I have loved you since I was a teenager and I will love you until they throw me into that ground. and please god don’t let them put me anywhere near terry. I will come back I swear to god. But When I die, It’s gonna be next to you, or you know before you but you know what I mean. I don’t plan on leaving you ever Ian. You’re fucking it. So this bullshit, thinking I’m pulling away? You should have fucking said something. Anything. And I would have told you like I'm telling you now. You are my life, my world, myb everything. So you stop that shit okay?” He says and Ian kisses his neck. “How awake are you right now?” Mickey adds.

His response is Ian kissing his neck harder. “What do you think?” Ian says and Mickey flips him over and moves on top of Ian, he can see it in his eyes. He’s fucking exhausted.

“Sleep now, fuck later.” He says curling up with Ian.

“But you have to work tomorrow…” Ian whines

“I do, but I’m not going in until you fuck me senseless. So get some rest beauty queen. You got some fuckin’ to do in the morning.” He says and Ian chuckles and kisses him softly.

\--


End file.
